Tangled Woods

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A friend gave me a link to an article from Christianity Today in our exchange of emails the other day about friendship, more specifically male friendship. My thoughts were too long to respond through email so I figured that I would put them here.

I enjoyed this article and its delve into the estrangement of friendships in our current world. The author, Wesley Hill, explores Orthodox theologian Florensky's thoughts on friendship saying that we must rely on one another to flourish.

Western life today is extremely isolated and individualistic. It can be seen in where churches are built. Before the church was in the center of the community because it was the focal point under which we call see the connection between one another. The problem with the secularization of society is that it has not found a replacement for this focal point and so there isn't any real connection for anyone.

Many Christians do not even find bonds that have made enough of a reason to stay where they are. A traveler and pilgrim are not the same thing but we have thought of them as the same thing, to equate sightseeing and exploring with a journey alongside God to draw ever more near. They can most certainly cross, but the content of these journeys becomes dramatically different based upon what we are actually seeking.

It so stands that the greatest of bonds are those that are explicitly spiritual. And those are the ones we should nurture most. They are deeper and strong than biological bonds (if we so desire them to be) because they are undoubtedly eternal. But how do we strengthen these bonds? There is an element of commonality and human effort that must put forth of course. I think that we will find that our greatest ally is prayer.

We must not overlook this entirely simplistic and yet incredibly hard aspect of our devotion to one another. The moment we forget our brother in prayer is the moment he begins to vanish altogether from us. From here we must allow the cultivation of God to begin. All the common interests we have become little more than cloth on the table of Christian brotherhood.

I believe that this is a great starting point and that if we stick to it, and carry our brothers and sisters with us wherever are at whatever time of day, we will find the love we truly desire. For the love of God in us will meet the love of God in each other.

How else will we repair the fear mutual intimacy with other men? I remember everyone turning around and giggling in high school because two friends (both male) were sitting next to each other in an assembly and one fell asleep and cuddled up on the other's shoulder. I also recall the countless theories of some relationships in bible being seemingly homosexual, such as Jonathan and David or Jesus and John. But these are merely the great distortion of love in our culture. I really don't believe our culture is homophobic (at least not entirely). I think that they are absolutely terrified, however, at the thought of same sex intimacy, an initial closeness of something more than the friendship but other than romance.

So pray for me. Write me down in your list of people. And I for you. Let us become brothers as we worship, in spirit and truth.