Faust, Midas and Myself

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As the year winds down and the new year begins, I've begun to reflect on what has been and what will be. A friend posted a status about how our generation seems to not like the idea of being an adult.

I stand by my comment on his status. This generation is made up of a bunch of endorphin addicts. People are not really looking at meaning as much as what gives the feeling of meaning. I recently saw this most clearly in the finale of season 1 of Aziz Ansari's new show, "Master of None." Dev, the main character is having a crisis about reaching a point in his life where there are no more surprises and everything is routine. The episode ends devoid of gratitude and filled with what the early Christians called "acidie (restlessness/lacking a sense of purpose); two characters make drastic changes to their lives, because why not?

I've been hearing a lot in media of pitying previous generations, of the whole history of humanity before us. They were "stuck" in the roles in life. Mother, fisherman, farmer, etc. Whatever your parents were was what you were. And we tend to think they were miserable, or at least less happy than us. I find it odd and also interesting that career becomes that dominant religion in a society that lacks it.

We have a lot of modern comforts that I enjoy and that make life more comfortable and more pleasant. But that does not equate to happiness. Gratitude is a huge step in the right direction but even this isn't necessarily the key. Throughout all the interviews, articles, scientific research and books I've gone through this year, it seems to me that people in general are not very happy. We are optimistic about the idea of happiness but everyone is relatively burned out and unsatisfied.

Or perhaps there are glimpses of happiness in couples, in someone that loves a job. Perhaps we see the shallow surface of the lives of individuals and say, "That's happiness and I want it." And why are happiness and love the two dominant things to have anyway?

I was where Dev was in the show about 3 years ago. Fresh out of college, in a job I hated, fresh out of a relationship that could have ended better, I was drifting. But, looking back, it was because all of those things were some sort of stability. And when they were gone or I wasn't satisfied with them, I started to question what I was doing with myself.

I was also fresh into Eastern Orthodoxy. I didn't do anything differently than I had been doing. But that little I had been doing began to re-order my life. In EO, life is liturgical, which means it has a common work and rhythm to it. Whatever idiot said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insanity has no foundation in reality. Nothing is static at all. So when you do the same thing over and over again, you bring newness into what you are doing; it mixes in with the routine of the life you have as a liturgical Christian. The prayers and fasting and good works and services are different and yet the same.

And in the sameness, a clarity emerges about how restlessness is a distraction. About how theosis is the aim and point and focus, not a career or spouse  or "experiences" or anything else. Perhaps this is why the saints urge us to think about death. It is a universal reality. The way we think about it in our culture however seems to be more about doing as much as you can before death. It is essentially a culture terrified of death. But the saints are urging us to "die well." And in their lives is seen the antithesis of the cultural pulpits, that essentially everything that you think you want is not even what you need.

Take for example St. Anthony The Great of Egypt, who lived in a cave for 30 years and at bread, salt and water. How is it that this man was so joyful and loving and kind and content and at peace that hundreds of people came to receive advice from him and tried to imitate his way of life? They know something more.

And at the end of this year, I can see that there is a meager bit of knowledge that has grown in me through God's love. That there is a contentment and that which is far beyond to be found elsewhere.

"Acquire a spirit of peace and a thousand around you may be saved."-St. Seraphim of Sarov