Screen Time, Social Media and The Relationships We Cultivate | stupid for caring
About 10 years ago, I was just beginning college as a freshman. I absolutely reveled in my newfound freedom. For the first time in my life I was as on my own and responsible for myself as my small, rural Christian college would allow. Everyday it seemed that I was meeting new people. Everyday I was also learning something new about all the people that I was meeting. I was learning something new all the time about myself as well. My classes were teaching me things and I was developing deep relationships, a few that have continued to this day.
I remember a particular epoch of my freshman year when my roommate's laptop broke and he had to send it in to be repaired. For about a week he was without a laptop in our dorm room. Some time during the first day he looked at me at asked, "What am I supposed to do now?"
"You could go talk to people," I replied. With an exacerbated sigh, he sat there for a moment, said something I don't remember, and walked out of the dorm to do just that. The guy could be a little socially awkward but he still managed to make a few new friends and even schedule some hang out time. I could tell that he still preferred the time he had set aside for himself in front of a screen to hanging out with people. But it was also obvious that he didn't have crippling social anxiety or anything like that. I mean this to know shame toward him (for this is me even to this day), he was just lazy and wanted the easier thing. I completely get that as well. It's so much easier to be disengaged and to put yourself on autopilot when the option is so much easier and placed in front of you.
This is one thing that I've been finding about my writing. Perhaps others simply do not have the inclination to plop themselves in front of an endless stream of entertainment, but that was definitely my inclination.
This being the Friday of the first week where I pretty much removed almost all trace of my online presence except for a few sites, decided to stop playing video games, and limited my internet use to library and coffee shops, I can say that I have severely limiting the amount of attention I was willing to give to relationships and creative pursuits. There have been many things that I've started doing throughout my time this week that I've been wanting to do for years. That I started doing because the easy distractions were removed. Now these were all artificial removals of course. I still have internet at home. I can still access the apps on my phone. What I've found though is that it was almost painful to strip all of them from my life at the given time I did. I was aware though, that I was often choosing to do something because I was bored instead of invested. I would scroll up and down through the never ending list of games in my Steam library and then go through Netflix and then go to YouTube doing the same.
It used to be that such uncomfortable restlessness would give birth to creativity. I'm not sure when it began to get so overboard, but I'm genuinely surprised at how difficult it has been to fill up the empty spaces of time with things that require me to actively engage in them and that also don't involve a screen. I haven't been used to an extended amount of boredom really since I was a kid. There has been a week break in between jobs so this as been really an all day thing. At most, I spend about 3-4 hours at a day at the library or a coffee shop writing or coding. Other than that, I'm at home writing, reading, playing guitar, or trying to figure out how to draw. I still use my phone for music and podcasts but that is the extent of it while at home.
In a way, I really don't like this setup because it's inconvenient, I miss playing video games, I miss YouTube, I miss social media. I miss distraction and I miss how easy it was to hide in my house in that distraction. Today, I had lunch with my mom. I don't even remember the last time I did that. I've been writing daily. I've been working on podcasting. I've been working on novels that have been on the back-burner for forever and I've been enjoying having contact with people, whether it be over text or a call. It's not like a distraction from my distractions. It's also that all of this is intentional. It wouldn't matter that I was doing all of this if I was just laying around (like I was earlier this week). I've been actually going to be satisfied with the day. Not because it was the most productive day ever. But because it was a full day. And I'm all for more of those.
a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94xoR45ZqAQ
I remember a particular epoch of my freshman year when my roommate's laptop broke and he had to send it in to be repaired. For about a week he was without a laptop in our dorm room. Some time during the first day he looked at me at asked, "What am I supposed to do now?"
"You could go talk to people," I replied. With an exacerbated sigh, he sat there for a moment, said something I don't remember, and walked out of the dorm to do just that. The guy could be a little socially awkward but he still managed to make a few new friends and even schedule some hang out time. I could tell that he still preferred the time he had set aside for himself in front of a screen to hanging out with people. But it was also obvious that he didn't have crippling social anxiety or anything like that. I mean this to know shame toward him (for this is me even to this day), he was just lazy and wanted the easier thing. I completely get that as well. It's so much easier to be disengaged and to put yourself on autopilot when the option is so much easier and placed in front of you.
This is one thing that I've been finding about my writing. Perhaps others simply do not have the inclination to plop themselves in front of an endless stream of entertainment, but that was definitely my inclination.
This being the Friday of the first week where I pretty much removed almost all trace of my online presence except for a few sites, decided to stop playing video games, and limited my internet use to library and coffee shops, I can say that I have severely limiting the amount of attention I was willing to give to relationships and creative pursuits. There have been many things that I've started doing throughout my time this week that I've been wanting to do for years. That I started doing because the easy distractions were removed. Now these were all artificial removals of course. I still have internet at home. I can still access the apps on my phone. What I've found though is that it was almost painful to strip all of them from my life at the given time I did. I was aware though, that I was often choosing to do something because I was bored instead of invested. I would scroll up and down through the never ending list of games in my Steam library and then go through Netflix and then go to YouTube doing the same.
It used to be that such uncomfortable restlessness would give birth to creativity. I'm not sure when it began to get so overboard, but I'm genuinely surprised at how difficult it has been to fill up the empty spaces of time with things that require me to actively engage in them and that also don't involve a screen. I haven't been used to an extended amount of boredom really since I was a kid. There has been a week break in between jobs so this as been really an all day thing. At most, I spend about 3-4 hours at a day at the library or a coffee shop writing or coding. Other than that, I'm at home writing, reading, playing guitar, or trying to figure out how to draw. I still use my phone for music and podcasts but that is the extent of it while at home.
In a way, I really don't like this setup because it's inconvenient, I miss playing video games, I miss YouTube, I miss social media. I miss distraction and I miss how easy it was to hide in my house in that distraction. Today, I had lunch with my mom. I don't even remember the last time I did that. I've been writing daily. I've been working on podcasting. I've been working on novels that have been on the back-burner for forever and I've been enjoying having contact with people, whether it be over text or a call. It's not like a distraction from my distractions. It's also that all of this is intentional. It wouldn't matter that I was doing all of this if I was just laying around (like I was earlier this week). I've been actually going to be satisfied with the day. Not because it was the most productive day ever. But because it was a full day. And I'm all for more of those.
a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94xoR45ZqAQ
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