Escaping

 

This year has been a series of constant reminders of truths and corrections. Nearing the end of the year, I can see that God is continually fine-tuning us, not as a punishment, but as an act of love. It's so easy to become distracted, to distract ourselves, whether those distractions are religious or secular.  I picked up the book Spiritual Awakening again by Elder Paisios. His words convicted me. This is a conversation between a young man and Elder Paisios of Mt. Athos:

"Geronda (Elder), when someone is tired or upset, he usually wants to read something light and easy, a short story or a novel, perhaps, something like that."

"Is there no spiritual book that is appropriate for such times? The purpose is not to forget one's worry, but to be redeemed. Such light reading does not redeem. Novels, newspapers [news in general, I would add] and television have no value in developing spiritual life. Quite often even some religious periodicals are damaging to Christians, because they stir a foolish zealousness that leads to confusion. Take care. Do not read unnecessary things during your free time. Some reading matter is completely hollow... Some people say, 'Yes, but they relax me.' But how can they be relaxing, my good man, if they make you dizzy and cause your eyes to ache? It is better to rest by sleeping. You can learn much about a person's spiritual state from what he reads...the devil finds opportunities from minor things. He can break the spirit of a spiritual person through foolish, childish matters..."

Though this conversation mostly pertains to books, I feel convicted about my defense of all my leisurely activities. I, who am riddled with anxieties and must relax in pointless entertainment, am criticizing the advice of this great Christian example who himself was known for his great peace, patience, and understanding, for his taking the time to talk with people. I remember he said earlier in the book that if he shares the Gospel and someone responds poorly to it, he immediately thinks that he must have been pompous or prideful or shared it in a disrespectful way to elicit such a response. It reminds me of what is written in the Scriptures, "Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." -- Hebrews 13:7

Do I have a life worth imitating? I would hope to say as did St. Paul, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." -- 1 Corinthians 11:1

I think the point that Elder Paisios is making here is not just to be critical of pointless entertainment, but of the unseen idols that are used to calm and relax us. Here, he also makes the point to say that reading spiritual books (or even the Bible) can also become an idol:

"The same thing is done by people who read spiritual books. They may spend the whole night reading spiritual books with great intensity and be content. They take a spiritual book, sit comfortably, and begin reading. 'Oh, I profited from that,' they say. It would be better to say, 'I enjoyed myself, I spent my time pleasantly.' But this is not profit. We profit when we understand what we read, when we censure ourselves and discipline ourselves by applying it... 'Where do I stand in relation to this spiritual truth? What must I do now?' "

Elder Paisios taught that one should only read as much Scripture as one is ready to immediately put into action. With my own anxieties about this pandemic, Kristin's recovery, and our futures, it has been easy to justify sinking into something that may be temporally relaxing and yet I return to the same anxieties afterward. After wrestling with what Elder Paisios said, I agree with him. The point is not to forget the things that worry me, but use them to redeem my time. In Ephesians 5:16, redeeming ( ἐξαγοράζω, exagorazó), is purchasing. St. Paul says we must purchase our time back. What does this mean? I think two other passages are helpful.

The first is Matthew 6:20:
"But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal."

The second is from the book of Revelation (3:18), where Jesus is urging Christians to buy His treasures:
"I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see."

There are so many things to reference from this verse, whether it be the image of the wedding garment, the initial fall of man and the clothing God made for Adam and Eve, the spit and the dirt Jesus used to make clay to heal the blind man's eyes. With all these images, I feel that the purpose is still the same, to redeem. To buy gold refined by fire from Him is to be something that is tested and purified. As Isaiah proclaims, "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction." -- Isaiah 48:10

Whether it be books, YouTube, Netflix, or the news, Christ does not ask us to remove certain things and correct ourselves because He hates fun or enjoyment. On the contrary, in the small, imperfect ways that I have been trying to apply His teachings and also what He has revealed through Elder Paisios, I have found that it's about a heavier, more fulfilling, and lasting rest that sinks deep into the heart. It's abundant life, but it needs cultivation, intention, watchfulness. My anxieties, my worries over everything, show me that there is more refining needed so I can choose more carefully what I read, watch, and play. Living water is worth that. Even if it is but a drop of dew, it worth more than all the novels, games, and shows in the world.

(as a side note: when he talks about novels here, he is essentially talking about dime novels [cheap and widely consumed paperbacks] and penny dreadful [short, entertaining stories with no redeeming qualities] stories. There is a very good article about this called "Why Fairy Tales  Might Be Better than a Vaccine.")

Grace and peace to you.

a song