A Rant: The Myth of Deep Relationships: Just Blame Technology

Let's get something straight.

If we think that some of our friends can't develop close and deep relationships because they prefer to play video games and watch movies rather than board games or cards, we might want to get off of our high horses and examine our expectations of friendship.

What my university chaplain said finds itself echoing through my mind every now and then: "love is the absence of expectation." True, perfect, unconditional love.  Of course when such a love is perpetuated, a return of similar nature will be received. Love always begets love. And that is exactly why it is so important that the original seed sown be without expectation. What you give, you receive.

I would even go so far as to say that as soon as love expects something in return, the relationship slowly begins to deteriorate and collapse upon itself. And when there are only "certain" things one expects, the relationship becomes this legalistic, micro-managed mess.

If you don't want to hang out with people who play video games, then just find new friends. But don't assume that you somehow are "deeper" or more "sophisticated" because you'd prefer to ACTUALLY INTERACT rather-than-stare-at-screen.

That's very shallow.

This is under the assumption that the point of any relationship is for the relationship itself, and not for molding and shaping it into what you would have it be. Because it will never be that. And if it ever is, then how unfortunate that you do not have the joy of experiencing anything beyond static expectancy.

I get it. Everything in moderation. Just as I don't always want to play cards, or someone doesn't enjoy movies, so others don't want to express political views, or theological conversations and religious experiences or existential quandaries.

And then there's the argument about being fully present. This goes back to whether we are expecting something or whether we are seeking to give something. Are we only able to give love under certain conditions?

If so, how weak and feeble such a love is.

Yes, indulgence in technology can cause issues in a relationship. But this isn't really an argument seeing as how indulgence in anything can do the same thing, including complaining or dwelling on how this or that is hindering the relationship. More so, we all indulge in things more than we should! And we all have issues in our relationships. Not a single one of us is perfect.

The truth is, conflict in relationship is a two-way street and it is something that both parties will ultimately either come to some sort of mutual understanding of how both parties work or they will both abandon the relationship completely.

Hopefully the former is in favor over the latter. It's something to remember being Christmas and all.