Work

 

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash 

Several people have asked me what I do all day now that I'm unemployed. I know they have good intentions and are genuinely concerned when they ask this question. 

Once upon a time, I would have asked this question to any "stay at home mom" or "homemaker" myself. But what do you DO all day? I think the underlying question behind that is, "How is *just* being a homemaker fulfilling?" or "How is it possible that unpaid work can be fulfilling and stimulating?" 

I think I'd like to flip the question around and ask, "Why is it that we think only paid careers where women work outside the home are worthwhile?" Or, "Why do we devalue work that's necessary to keep our households and, by extension, our society functioning?" Or, "Why do we work more in order to outsource domestic tasks, including childcare, to people outside of our families?" 

This is essentially a modern, post Industrial Revolution problem we've created for ourselves. I certainly don't have any magic solutions for it and I think the solution varies from family to family. I certainly couldn't tell my mother, "Stop working to take care of me," but for our family, which currently consists of Cameron and me (can't forget the dog!), we've always prioritized wanting to be the primary caregivers for our (God willing!) future children and searching for flexible work situations to allow that to happen. I recognize that this is a privilege not many families share. And I readily acknowledge the sacrifices we'll have to make to achieve that goal, worthwhile sacrifices, in my opinion. 

But, to go back to the original question, here is what I do all day, on an average day: 

- Pray and read the Bible

- Practice silence, admittedly very poorly

- Make the bed

- Exercise (I'm working up to 20 minute stretches; right now, I'm doing 10 minute workouts from the Sworkit app on my phone.) 

- Pray morning prayers with Cameron

- Tidy up the kitchen/living room area

- Water plants in our little container garden

- Check email

- Pay the bills

- Self Authoring (Right now, I'm working on this project to help elucidate my goals and, hopefully, gain some clarity about what my next steps should be career wise.) 

- Praying the (abbreviated) Hours (prayers for 9 am, 12 pm, and 3 pm) with Cameron

- Eat breakfast with Cameron

- Do dishes

- Floss and do jaw exercises (I try to stay on top of oral hygiene because I'm more prone to cavities post radiation. I do jaw exercises 3 times a day so my reconstructed jaw won't get stiff and hard to open.) 

- Housework for the day (I clean one room or do one task, like washing the sheets, every weekday. Weekends are for catch up.) 

- Reading for fun (I'm reading The Selection series by Kiera Cass right now. Picture "The Bachelor" placed in an imaginary future where America is now a monarchy with a caste system and the prince is expected to choose his wife from a group of 35 eligible young women.)  

- Lymphedema pump (I'm supposed to do this for 30 minutes every day to keep any swelling in my head/neck to a minimum. I go through spurts where I'm better about being consistent with this. I've gotten behind this week...) 

- Making dinner (certainly not every day; sometimes we have leftovers and sometimes Cameron wants to cook)

- Visiting friends (Our godson lives about 5 minutes away.) 

- Dinner with Cameron

- After dinner walk (recent addition to our daily routine) 

- Reading (Our goal is to have screen free evenings, so we're working on either committing to a Bible reading plan or reading spiritual books aloud.) 

- Evening prayers with Cameron/getting ready for bed (Our ideal bedtime is before 9 pm. I wake up between 6-7 am most days.) 

And there you have it! I didn't include minutiae, like responding to peoples' texts or looking for rental houses online, although I certainly spend a fair amount of time doing that. This schedule also doesn't encompass weekends, which include Vespers and Divine Liturgy.

I know this phase of life won't last forever, but I am enjoying it while it lasts. There's something quite nice about having structured, similar days, but also having the flexibility to spend a little longer on things at times.